Relationship Matters: Thinking about boyfriend and girlfriend relationship called "dating".

By Chisom Michael Ibada


Is it wise for the young youths and teenagers to be into
boyfriend and girlfriend relationship called "DATING" but
not yet to face the reality - "MARRIAGE"

I was with young youths and teenagers this evening in
the Mass service at St Williams Catholic Church and
after the Mass I was discussing with some of them as
they were carnally inclined, and one of them ask me "Do
you have a girlfriend?" and I said no that I do not, and
they were like surprise to hear that, stating that it is
very hard to see people like me singled minded that it
makes life too boring, I laugh haha.

I had some controversial discussion with them on
"dating" among young youths and teenagers who are
still eating from Papa and Mama and not yet to face
the reality of it. That is why I picked up my laptop
writing and encoding on this as an article to open the
eyes of some of my fellow youths and teenagers who
are ignorant.
In my own opinion, scrutiny and critical analyzing of the
word "DATING" among the young youths and teenagers,
it is unwise, though it might not be a sin but it is not
wise at all.
The Bible doesn't talk a lot specifically about dating.
There is a reason for that. Dating is a very new practice
in the history of humanity. The idea of choosing
someone to go out and spend one on one time with
outside of a marriage commitment is still very new. In
biblical times, there was no “dating”. As a result, there
is no passage that instructs specifically how Christians
should handle the issue of dating. However, the Bible
does share many truths and theological principles that
help us think Biblically when it comes to modern
cultural issues like dating. My fear is that many single
Christians think about dating, relationships, and
marriage just like the world. There is a great failure of
building our thinking about dating on the Word of God.
My advice to my fellow youth and teenagers is - forget
about dating if you can until you are ready for the
reality - Marriage .
However, here are my reasons.
1. Your primary focus should be on your relationship
with God.
Dating can distract you.Dating can be so distracting for
Christian teenagers. I watch them as they gossip about
who is dating who. Who broke up with this person.
There is a massive amount of emotional and intellectual
engagement about the dating life of their peers. It
seems that teens are either working on getting a date,
currently dating someone, or recovering from a breakup.
Singleness seems to be taboo in teenage culture.
For the Christian teenager this whole business of dating
can be very distracting. As Christians, our primary
focus, especially in our single years, should be on our
relationship with God. Rather than spending their energy
pursuing the Lord, they are distracted by the dating
culture. Rather than spending their evening in prayer
with the Lord, the spend it texting their girlfriends and
boyfriends. Teenage dating is unwise because it can
distract you from pursuing the Lord.
2. You place yourself into unnecessary temptation and
sin. Dating can defile you.
Our bodies naturally long for physical and sexual
intimacy. Teenage dating unnecessarily puts the
Christian in temptation and possible sin. It is like
playing with fire. This is why kissing always lead to
more intense kissing. Teenagers who are sexually
charged with hormones as it is, put themselves at risk
when they pair off and isolate each other. Building
intimacy without commitment is dangerous. I can’t tell
you the number of Christian teenagers I've seen fall into
sexual sin due the pseudo marriage they've made out of
their marriage relationship. Don’t play with fire
unnecessarily, don’t start dating until your able to
commit in marriage and then you will be able to joyfully
and freely act out on your God given, but sin corrupted,
sexual desires. Teenage dating is unwise because the
temptation to sexual sin is great, and sin defiles you.
3. You don’t have the spiritual maturity and refuse to
guard your heart. Dating can damage you.
Many teenagers just don’t have the emotional or
spiritual maturity to handle dating. I see this especially
in teenage girls. In a culture of absent Dad, these girls
long for the affection and care of a boy. As a result
many teenagers go from boy to boy looking for
something that only Christ can give. In the process
these sweet young girls get their heart abused and taken
advantage of time and time again. Before you every
start thinking about dating you must make sure your
identity is sealed in your union with Christ, not in a
boyfriend or girlfriend. Teenage dating is unwise
because it can damage you when you refuse to guard
your heart and find your identity in Christ.
4. You affections for your date is greater than your
affections for God. Dating can deceive you.
We live in a culture that idolizes romance. At the time of
this writing it is Valentines day, the holy day of our
false-god cupid. So many Christian teenagers get
caught up in the idolatry of the culture and begin
worshiping the idol of romance. As a result, we can be
deceived to idol worship if we are not careful. As I
watch the dating life of Christian teenagers, so often
their affections for their boyfriend or girlfriend exceed
their affections for Christ. When this happens, idolatry
has occurred in our hearts. Teenage dating is unwise
because it can deceive you to bending knee to cupid
instead of the Lord Jesus Christ.
5. Dating handle wrongly can hinder your witness as a
missionary. Dating can hinder you.
Christian Teenagers are missionaries. They have been
sent by God into their local schools to be ambassadors
for the Gospel. Yet, the dating life of teenagers often
hinders the evangelistic mission God has given them.
Many Christian teenagers are known more for who they
date than for their love for Jesus. Lunch table
conversations revolve around dating drama about them
then their radical unselfish love for Jesus and other
people. Dating for teenagers often damages their
witness to the unbelievers in their school. This is a
shame. Rather than distinctness from the world,
Christian teenagers imitate the culture of their school.
Their dating lives often hinders the mission God has
called them to do. Teenage dating is unwise because it
hinders the mission of sharing the Gospel.
It is no sin to date other people as a teenager, and I am
not against boyfriend and girlfriend, but the content of
that boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. These five
reasons I think are enough to put dating on hold until
you reach the place in your life when you can begin to
seriously think about and prepare for marriage.
God bless you the reader!
Peace!!!
Be wise!